I've never been to Spain...but I really like the music

Today was my first day of hypnotism...being hypnotized. Hyp.....no.....tized. Strange, strange word. I had a 90 minute meeting with the therapist. That's a long time. She wanted to ask me questions, try to figure out what she could say to help me stop eating.

Earlier that day, I had to go to the dentist. I was a nervous wreck. How many times have I gone over the last several months? Probably equal to how many times I have gone my whole life time. So, anyway, there I was, a nervous wreck, at the dentist and I was staring at an old copy of People when it dawned on me. I think I am fat because it lets me beat up on myself.

The day before the therapist...I need to give her a name...the therapist will get to me after awhile. How about, hmmm can't come up with anything right now, I'll come back to it later. So, the therapist said to me, you got to quit beating up on yourself. My dad would say that to me all the time. I actually think my dad taught me how to do it because he criticizing me, so much, but I am not so clear on that right now.

So, here I am at the therapist....still got to come up with a name....and I told her the story I just told you. She didn't negate it and she didn't validate it either. Totally refreshing approach.

Let me jump to the hypnotizing part. The lights were low and I sat on a chair and she started to talk to me. Sheba! I like that name. We will call her Sheba. I had a headset on, and lights over my eyes and I could hear her voice talking to me through the headphones.

It was a very soothing voice and there was rain or a waterfall in the background, I don't know which one, and birds. I like birds. Before we started we talking about some stuff from my past and just like picking a scab it was bleeding a little bit, so I was super sensitive and nervous. I also, didn't know what to expect, too, so that added to it. I found it hard to listen and sit quiet. Almost at the end, when she was telling me to go down the stairs, I felt weird, like I was watching myself go down them and it was actually happening, but right now I can't remember what I was suppose to be doing while I was going down the stairs.

At the end, she told me to wake up, and I told her that I was having trouble staying on track and that my mind would wander while she was talking. She didn't seem surprised nor told me to correct it. That was nice.

Now the part you are probably wondering about. Did I eat less? That evening, I still felt a little raw inside and if you have done any kind of 12 step program (Hi, Bill W.) then you know what I mean. I picked up my son from school and had a snack with him. I decided to have a coke and cracker and cheese. Later around 6:00 my son brought up dinner for the second time and though I didn't want to mess with it, I couldn't let him starve. I had to go to the store anyway and decided to stop at a fast food joint on the way home. We drove through and I normally would have ordered, just because we were driving through, but I wasn't really interested, until I saw they had a new item called a Seadog. The name got me and I had to have it.

We came home and ate and I ate some of my son's french fries along with my Seadog. Then I got some Zingers. 3 of them and a glass of milk, my usual dessert. I ate two of them and didn't want anymore.

To sum it up, I didn't order french fries or a big hamburger, but had a Seadog and some of my son's french fries, instead. I had 2 Zingers instead of 3 and I am heading to bed and have no desire to go get food before I do.

I will watch watch King of the Hill, and then afterwards I will fall asleep to the CD that Sheba recorded for me. It is a recording of what she said to me in her office today.

Day 1 complete. Oh, yeah, Sheba also put a suggestion that my stomach has shrunk, just like if I had gastric bypass surgery. I had showed her the article and she thought it was clever. I think she was as curious as I, to see if it would help and what the results would be.