I repeat....slow down!

I haven't written much because I wasn't' doing so good on my eating. It was like my compulsion was easily drowning out Sheba. I wasn't full fledged eating like before, but close. Then last night I went to sleep and I must have hit the repeat button on the CD player because I remember waking up every hour or so and I was still hearing Sheba's voice playing. Finally, I turn it off around 3:00. I wondered if I had damaged my psychy or fixed it. That morning I taught a lesson and then changed my clothes and we went shopping before going out to dinner for our anniversary. I tried on some pants that were a size smaller than what I would normally wear. No guarantee I have lost weight because I am not on a scale and my other clothes seem to be fitting the same. It could be the manufacturer or I am down a 1/2 size as the pants I last bought there were really a 1/2 size bigger. I never got around to eating early and only had coffee, so I was very hungry. I ordered a Filet Mignon and salad and bread and potato and iced tea with Splenda. As I ate, I heard my voice telling me to slow down and enjoy it. When the rest of my meal came, everything tasted wonderful. It all was so good and I ate slowly. Then half way through my steak, I was full. I had so much food left. A lot for me anyway. Half the steak, half the bread, half the potato. I was struggling so hard with eating it all and leaving it. I don't know why I can't leave the food. Why I think I am wasting it by not eating it all, I don't know. No one made me eat that way when I was growing up as a kid, so where did I get this from? I appeased myself, by reminding myself that I could box it up and eat the rest later. We ran some errands and headed home and I didn't have that horrible overate feeling in my stomach. In fact, I felt perfect. I had really enjoyed my meal, didn't over eat and had enough for another meal.

My conclusion that my psychy was not messed up by hearing the tape over and over again. Since it is suppose to work just as well when you are asleep, because it is talking to your sub conscience, I think that two things happened. I couldn't conscientiously resist Sheba's voice as I was asleep, and the repetition was helping me to really get what she was saying. I actually think that it helped me.