Romancing the Food

Today is home school day. I woke up to my son laying next to me working on his school work. We had fallen asleep listening to the tape Sheba had made for me, one ear bud in his ear and one ear bud in mine. Later that day we went to Souplantation. I ate whatever I wanted and could hear Sheba telling me to slow down a bit and I never finished my meal. Later that evening I knew there was a pint of Ben & Jerry's Vanilla Caramel Fudge in the freezer and after thinking about it for two hours, I went and got it. After eating only quarter of the ice cream, I had had enough. I didn't feel bad anymore that I had started eating it in the first place, because I saw I can eat a little and be satisfied. Something that is sooo foreign to me.

What I learned from this is to stop romancing the food. Stop thinking about it for hours and go ahead and eat it. I am afraid of this because once I start I can't stop. Before, starting at 5:00 p.m., everyday, I was grazing like a cow till midnight. Sometimes, no matter how full I was, I still wasn't satisfied. Even after I had eaten 5 Zingers, I wanted one more. Seconds from swallowing the last bite of a Zinger I was already planning to get another one.

I have to trust that hypnotism is showing me how to slow down my eating and not to overeat.

Are all my cravings gone? No. But, I don't feel so out of control and I know it will only get better.